Week 7: The greatest Love

Ok so it’s Valentines Day or is it Valentine’s Day?  I don’t eat chocolate – 99% of the time and roses die in the heat.

However I was thinking about love,  this morning – sitting outside a supermarket, waiting for it to open – and about how important love is. And where that starts.

We need to be loved as babies. Neglected babies don’t do well. Babies seperated from their source of love, by say, illness, well, they struggle. Now we refer to is a bonding issues, I guess.

During my life, way back in the mists of time – it seems like that far back – I had no regard for myself. No positive self image, no love, no confidence.

I’d been isolated as a tiny baby, due to illness. This caused a shadow across my life indeed my heart, which is somewhat ironic given I needed heart surgery, several times, as I came into my adult years.

I recall a time, as a young mother,  when I was taking sleeping tablets during the day, to numb the emotional pain. This is not a good or recommended approach. Call your Dr, your best friend, your mother, tell your teacher, your minister…anyone, just tell someone.

I’d walk through my days, in a fogged state. Sit for hours crying. Sit for hours doing nothing. Going through the motions of the tasks I had to complete….

One day I caught a lyric, just a line, of a song….it stopped me in my tracks. I purchased the song. To this day I do not know who was singing it but I found it on You Tube, a Whitney Huston version.

The lyrics changed me. I cried. I stopped crying. I realised all my choices had been made for me, the when and where and who and how of my life. I had stumbled from this to that as the loudest, most assertive or arogant voice pulled me forward. Based on the assumption that I would die, I was not taught the baby-step skills. I taught myself later. I was held at a distance as I was expected to die anytime, this year, no this year…certainly by 20 etc. (By the way I am still here)

I heard this song, as a lost woman in a desert hears a waterfall. I took the song to the counsellor I was attending. He was amazed how the song could catch me and convince me of something he had been trying to get me to believe. But I wasn’t buying it..he was just doing his job.

This I believed. This changed me. I will never forget the moment.

So here, on this warm sunny Valentine’s day, I share Week 7: The greatest Love

I dedicate this song to the lovely, courageous talented and more than enough Alycia.



Speak Your Mind